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Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Locusts at the Gate Chapter 2: A New Name Chapter 3: The Capital Prepares Chapter 4: The Princess is Dead, Long Live the Princess Chapter 5: Outside the Gates Chapter 6: Inside the Black Tent Chapter 7: Surrender at the Temple Chapter 8: The Cult of the Locust Chapter 9: The Locust's Tenets of Faith Chapter 10: Mourners on the Cliff Chapter 11: The Eye of Betrayal Chapter 12: The Dead King's Bedchamber Chapter 13: The Arms of the Goddess Chapter 14: Zayaan of the Narim Chapter 15: The Eyes of the Priestess Chapter 16: A More Permanent Disguise Chapter 17: Tribute Chapter 18: Sacrifice of the New Moon Chapter 19: The Lost Bird Chapter 20: Manah and the Priestess Chapter 21: Desert Creatures Chapter 22: Become the Swarm Chapter 23 The Price of Betrayal Chapter 24: Life Under the Locust Chapter 25: Wild Rose Chapter 26: The Lady Wren Chapter 27: Thought and Desire Chapter 28: The Lady's Captivity Chapter 29: The Wine Maiden Chapter 30: End of Childhood Chapter 31: The Children of Aisha Chapter 32: The Forest Runner Chapter 33: Three Sisters Chapter 34: The Hunt Chapter 35: Bones in the Forest Chapter 36: Lullaby Chapter 37: The Hunter's Horn Chapter 38: Ways Between Ways Chapter 39: Morning Star Chapter 40: A Prophecy for Baraz Chapter 41: Equinox Fires Chapter 42: The Lord Prince Takri Chapter 43: Evening Star Sets Chapter 44: Chaos in the Courtyard Chapter 45: Dasha Chapter 46: Memories Chapter 47: The Body Slave Chapter 48: Caged Beasts Chapter 49: Message from the Capital Chapter 50: Heresiarch Chapter 51: The Color of Blood Chapter 52: Winter Winds Chapter 53: The Bookmaker's Closet Chapter 54: Wrapped in Dignity and Beauty Chapter 55: Vessel of the Goddess Chapter 56: Cracks in the Walls Chapter 57: Two Brothers Chapter 58: The Court of Women Chapter 59: Favored of the King Chapter 60: The Sweetest Fruit Chapter 61: Daughter of the Temple Chapter 62: A Nation of Bastards Chapter 63: The Lute Player Chapter 64: Aisha's Prayer Chapter 65: Promises Chapter 66: Lives Lost Chapter 67: The Tea Maker Chapter 68: Object of Desire Chapter 69: Empty Shelves Chapter 70: Darkness and Light Chapter 71: The Love of Men Chapter 72: The Cursed Ones Chapter 73: Hiding Places Chapter 74: Old Men's Tales Chapter 75: False Prophecies Chapter 76: The Lord Prince Radu Chapter 77: Love Becomes Life Chapter 78: Mistress and Mother Chapter 79: A Test of Strength Chapter 80: The Strigoi-Viu Cometh Chapter 81: Scraps from the Table Chapter 82: A Fool's Errand Chapter 83: The Little Ghost Chapter 84: Stolen Honeycakes Chapter 85: Breathe Chapter 86: Beneath the Palace Chapter 87: Red Pebbles Chapter 88: Common Men Chapter 89: Love and Duty Chapter 90: Nightmares Chapter 91: Earth and Sun Chapter 92: Love and Creation Chapter 93: Until My Last Breath Chapter 94: Fruit and Flower

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Chapter 85: Breathe

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Yelena hesitated a moment before knocking on the great doors leading to the hallway outside the Court of Women.  Should she speak with Lilua's bodyguards now, or return to her room and allow Takri to take his chances alone with the sons of the Holy Mother? 

The peephole set in the door slid open in front of her. 

"What business requires you to leave the safety of the Court of Women?" 

Yelena could not see the man addressing her through both her veil and the bars covering the window, but the speaker's accent was Adyllian.  There were only two Adyllian eunuchs who guarded the Court of Women, Floryan and Luka.  The others were all foreigners brought with the Swarm along with the brides of the Locust. 

"I am Yelena, body slave to the Lord Prince Takri.  My allotted time to visit the Court has come to an end and I must return to my master's side," said Yelena. 

"We will arrange escort for you, little one," said one of the brothers.  "It is not safe for any woman to walk the halls once the castle is awake, especially an Adyllian." 

"If it is not too much trouble, could you or your brother take me to my quarters?" asked Yelena.  "I do not trust these foreign men, eunuch or not." 

"Of course," said the man behind the peephole.  "Luka, please fetch one of the other guardians so that I may escort the body slave to her quarters." 

"Thank you for understanding," said Yelena. 

A few moments later the door creaked open.  Yelena stepped outside into the hallway, shivering as the cold air seeped into her clothing.  She looked about, expecting a foreigner to be alongside the two brothers, but none was to be found.  Luka locked the door behind her as Floryan pulled her to the side. 

"It was you who wished to speak with our Lilua today," said Luka.  "Though I doubt she had much to say to you in return." 

"She can communicate, even without words," said Yelena. 

Luka exchanged a glance with Floryan.  "We both know that very well." 

"She trusts you both," said Yelena.  "I hope I can do the same." 

"You trust us with your life just by asking us to escort you," said Floryan.  "It is no different." 

"Did Nasreen trust you with hers?" asked Yelena. 

"What of the holy prostitute?" asked Luka.  "She returned to the temple because your lord and master tired of her." 

"That is a lie," said Yelena.  "My master loves her as if she were the Goddess embodied.  Your masters put her on the streets that night to die alone of the cold, or to fall prey to the Swarm.  My master does not know if she is alive or dead." 

"And what does this have to do with us?" asked Floryan.  "We no longer serve in the temple.  We have only the women in this Court to protect, and those we can only keep safe until they are called to the King's side.  We returned Nasreen to this Court.  By morning, she was gone.  Swallowed up by the palace like so many others." 

"All my master wishes is to know if she lives," said Yelena.  "And you are the only ones we can trust in the palace who have connections to the temple." 

"We have no connection with that place," said Luka.  "We are as much prisoners here as you are." 

"But your mother..." pleaded Yelena. 

"Our mother would rather have us dead than as we exist now."  Floryan turned to look at his brother. 

"He is right," said Luka.  "We have brought nothing but shame upon her.  Even before the Swarm." 

"I don't understand," said Yelena.  "You were bodyguards to Queen Mila.  Twin warriors known for their beauty and valor.  She could not possibly think of you as shameful." 

"We were sons, Yelena.  Sons and not daughters," said Floryan.  "For the Holy Mother to only bear sons is a stain upon her.  No other in her position ever was daughterless.  And now, we cannot even give her a granddaughter if we wished it." 

"I promised Takri..." Yelena’s voice started to tremble. 

Floryan lifted a finger to his lips.  "Quiet, child.  My replacement just rounded the corner.  We can speak on our way to your master's chambers." 

The brothers exchanged greetings with the foreign eunuch before Floryan took Yelena's arm and guided her down the hallways towards the Lord Prince's quarters. 

"You have to help him," whispered Yelena.  "He will rush off to the temple himself to find out if she lives or dies.  And if he does, they will both die.  And possibly me as well." 

"It is too dangerous to love another in these times," said Floryan.  "And it is twice as stupid to take the risk.  Your Lord Prince does not have much sense." 

"He does not," said Yelena.  "But his heart is good.  And he believes Nasreen loves him, too.  Please help us.  If Takri is killed for treason, then I will be offered up as well." 

"I will speak to him," said Floryan.  "Perhaps if he hears it from another man, he will listen." 

"Thank you," said Yelena.  "I hope it will be enough."   

Takri paced the edges of his chambers like a caged animal.  His breakfast lay untouched on a table in front of the fire while his mind raced.  Was Nasreen dead?  Was she alive?  Images of her seated beside the strigoi-viu at table swam before him.  Her face purposefully expressionless except with fear behind her eyes as she sat within arm's reach of the monster. 

That night, Takri wanted nothing more than to protect her, to keep her safe.  He had thought if she was away from him, she would not draw the attention of Mahleck.  Now, it seemed his presence did not matter.  It was already too late.  What if Mahleck was right, and she was alive?  Or worse, what if he was wrong and she was already in the land of the dead? 

His thoughts shifted to Yelena and his cousin Lilua.  What if Lilua was so far inside herself she could not communicate at all, even with someone as headstrong and determined as Yelena?  What if the sons of the Holy Mother could not be trusted?  What if instead of listening to Yelena, they turned her over to the Swarm? 

He sat down on one of the chairs next to the fire and tried to breathe like his mother taught him as a boy.  Take in the air.  Hold it inside.  Breathe it out and offer it to Aaysha.  If you can control your breath, you can control your mind.   

Breathe in. 

Why was this fear harder to control than when the Swarm raided the camp? 

  Nasreen.  Lilua.  Yelena. 

Or in the ice and fog of the bone forest? 

Hold them inside. 

Or riding behind Mahleck through the forest to find the oracle?   

 Nasreen.  Lilua.  Yelena. 

Why can't I control my fear? 

Give them to the Goddess's care. 

Nasreen.  Lilua.  Yelena. 

The sound of a key inserted into a lock brought Takri to his feet. 

Breathe in. 

Nasreen-Lilua-Yelena 

He crossed the room in two strides. 

Hold them inside. 

Nasreen-Lilua-Yelena. 

The lock turned with a click.  The latch lifted. 

Nasreen-Lilua-Yelena 

Nasreen-Lilua-Yelena 

The door opened. 

Nasreen-Lilua- 

Takri exhaled in a rush.  "Yelena!" 

The body slave stepped inside, followed by a man Takri recognized as one of Lilua's bodyguards.  The man stood taller than most men, with fine features lined by grief and hair shot through with silver. 

"Takri, this is Florian," said Yelena.  "One of your cousin's bodyguards.  Lilua feels we can trust them to help us." 

"Thank you," gasped Takri.  "Nasreen.  I love her with every fiber of my being.  I must know if she lives, or if she sleeps with the dead." 

"For your own good, and for the good of Nasreen it is best you consider her dead," said Florian.  "While my brother and I understand your plight, we will not return to that place.  We have all lost those we love.  This is no different." 

"Then I shall go myself," said Takri.  "I brought this upon her with my selfish desires.  I went to the temple brothel to learn of the way of a man with a woman, and when I looked upon Nasreen I saw hope for the first time since my people were slaughtered.  It was as if the Goddess revealed herself to us both.  I cannot believe it to be for nothing." 

"Then you are young and foolish," said Florian. 

"I cannot live unless I know," said Takri. 

"And what of your cousin Lilua?" asked Florian.  "What of Yelena?  Would you trade their lives for Nasreen's?" 

Takri took a deep breath and sat down on one of the chairs.  "Why do you ask me this?" 

"I want you to understand that if you run off to be with your Nasreen, you risk more than yourself and Nasreen's lives.  Your body slave will be considered contaminated by your rebellion and will be put to death if you are caught.  And your cousin will have lost one of the two family members she has left.  Has she not suffered enough, Takri?" 

"I...  I..."  Takri put his head in his hands, taking deep gulping breaths of air.  He could feel tears welling up inside of him.  He had not cried since before the massacre of the Narim.  There had been no time, and the Locusts saw tears as a sign of weakness.  There was no room for weakness in the Swarm. 

Yelena rushed to his side.  "Takri, slow your breath, or you will pass out.  Breathe." 

Florian lowered his voice.  "When I was your age, I fell in love with a young man named Yaril.  Yaril was nothing but beauty and rugged passion and sweet wildness like the mountains in autumn, and when he looked at me, I felt something I never felt with a woman.  We spent every day serving the Goddess together in the temple, and every night in each other's arms until the day I asked my mother to bless our union.  And that day I had to make a choice - my love, or my duty to my family.  I am the son of the Holy Mother, duty bound to obey her as I would obey the Goddess Herself.  She wished for a granddaughter.  I was not to waste my seed with a man, no matter how much I loved him.  Yaril did not understand my rejection, and wanted to continue our relationship in secret.  But within days he was sent to serve as priest among the shepherds, and I have not seen him since." 

"Why would the Holy Mother be so cruel to you?" asked Yelena.  "You could have a child with a woman and still love Yaril." 

"You cannot question the Holy Mother," said Florian.  "Especially if you are her son." 

Takri caught his breath and gathered himself.  "Do you regret losing him?" 

"I did my duty for those I was bound to," said Florian.  "Just as my brother did.  If I had not been born a man, I could have been what she wanted me to be, and I could love who I loved.  Now, both Luka and I can never give her what she wants.  It is too late for us." 

"It isn't too late for me.  I hope it is not too late for Nasreen," said Takri.  "And I don't have to sacrifice my family or Yelena as long as I am not caught." 

Florian nodded.  "There may be a way." 

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