Chapter 20

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Flashing his eyes open, the sudden bright light from the horizon temporarily blinded Seth, forcing him to squint painfully to avoid hurting his vision. "Where am I?" He wondered aloud before coughing abruptly, realizing how hard it was to even speak or breathe before finally being able to recognize where exactly he was.

Sitting on a pile of rocks just above twenty meters from the seashore as dusk slowly approached, he found the peaceful atmosphere very pleasing, calmly breathing in the fresh air of the salty scent and sea birds flying across the atmosphere close to the ocean.

Nothing else surrounded him but tranquility from the calming scenery of waves crashing upon one another, filling his heart with ease that he had never experienced before. It is like he has woken up from a bad nightmare just to experience a wonderful dream for the first time in awhile. "Why am I here again?" He questioned no one but himself in curiosity: "This must be a dream." This wasn't the last time he got lucid.

Because whenever he is asleep, his mind drops him to the horrors of his past, especially remembering his screaming in hell and the countless cruelty that people inflicted on him from simply existing. He wished to have peace of mind, but apparently it seems like cruel reality just mocks him for how weak and pathetic he is.

And they are right with that assumption—his sad excuse of a human that shouldn't even be alive to begin with; he is nothing but an insect waiting to be crushed underneath a boot. Yet, here he is in this blissful setting that he assumed might be heaven or paradise compared to how everything is back on earth.

Placing his hand over his right lap, he looked down at the open palm that he used to wield a cross before everything went downhill for them. Being the target of Cinder's injuries, he and his companions were trialed to be executed tomorrow.

At least he can get a chance to see this beautiful place as a last resort before the inevitable happens to him when everything gets over with, but deep down, he doesn't want it to be this way. There are plenty of things left untouched in his heart.

A white-skinned hand then appeared out of nowhere, grabbing his open palm as he flinched in surprise by the contact before slowly tilting his head to meet with a pair of glistening blue iris staring right back at him. "Seth," the voice of Muriel was heard in a gentle whisper as she then closed her eyes in fixated lock.

She was sitting right next to him, bewildered by not having noticed her presence any sooner. He began to panic in embarrassment, but this did not affect her as she smiled tenderly, tightening her gentle grip on his hand to reassure him that everything was alright.

Her eyes conveyed a genuine warmth and affection towards him that is hard to describe, like that of a mother watching her child play outside. "Are you scared of death?" The question was like lightning striking the boy's brain, leaving him speechless as the words came tumbling out of her mouth.

The truth is, he is always frightened of it. There is always a reason why he never committed suicide because of his belief in God that there is something worth fighting for in the end, even if he knows the man will abandon him forever for the sinful existence he is. "Yes, I'm afraid," he answered her without hesitation.

Though he expected her to judge him, her smile never changed, only showing sympathy for the boy's confession: "May I ask why?" She inquired, interested in his reasoning for not taking his own life when others would have killed themselves in shame or desperation.

"Because I want to live..." Seth replied hesitantly, unsure if it was right for him to say what he believes, but it wasn't like he would have lied about anything to begin with: "Even though I hate how pathetic I am, that doesn't mean others should look down at me for being myself." He continued his explanation before letting out a shaky breath.

Letting go of his hand, she chuckled lightly as her gaze returned to the sight of endless waters that stretched out as far as the eye can see. "Your fear is justified, my son," she spoke once again while he watched in interest, "and that is why I am proud of you." The sentence itself brought more confusion for the boy to understand.

"Why? I don't know what I've done to make you proud." He questioned with honest curiosity, "I have done nothing worth praising; all I do is be let down by others and fail to do simple tasks given to me," frowning deeply when recalling memories of those cruel people that used to beat him for fun.

Nevertheless, Muriel kept smiling brightly, never changing her expression towards him. "Your man, Seth. Men are built to strive for greatness, but it also means that they will suffer because of the obstacles they face," she explained calmly with a voice carrying wisdom beyond comprehension. "Fear is natural, but you mustn't always remain weak or afraid." Her eyes shifted back to the conflicted boy.

Her words have touched upon Seth's heart, making him question this logic: "Then what? Force myself to become brave?" Not really understanding how he should react in this situation, he asks, "Is that what being a man is? To always act tough and macho every single second?" He asked while raising his eyebrows.

Muriel giggled at this response: "No, my son. You must learn that you are human first and foremost," she said, placing her pale white fingers upon the center of her own chest, where the heart lies within the body. "You are vulnerable, but that does not mean you should give up," tapping where her supposed organ is located. "Do not surrender so easily. Fight for your freedom, fight for what's right, fight for love, and above all, fight for what you really believe in." Her speech was firm yet filled with motherly kindness.

"Believe in what?"

The boy was confused by the words spoken by her, which didn't seem to bother the woman whatsoever. "In God," she kindly stated her belief in divinity to her son, who nodded slowly, "his mercy, love, and compassion that he has given us from the moment we came to this life until our last days," explaining her reasons for putting her trust in higher beings that existed in heaven.

Looking down in contemplation, "why didn't he help me when I needed him most?" Seth whispered softly before looking back up at Muriel with questioning expressions written on his face, "If he is so loving and caring, why didn't he stop those bad people from tormenting me...?" His voice quivered in sadness and disappointment. "How do you believe in God when he abandoned me without giving answers for why this happened to me, why I had to suffer through hell itself?" His body shivered uncontrollably as the memories flashed before his eyes.

She smiled sadly at this question, her eyes closed, before opening her mouth to speak, "God does care; he always has and will be proudly watching over you all the time. His not servant going to drastically change your life as it is your faith and willpower alone that determine which path you'll take, which choices are yours to decide, and he respects your decision no matter how foolish it is." Her reply seemed rather vague at best: "Everyone has their moments of weakness, whether it's mental or physical, but that doesn't mean it should make you give up or blame your maker for everything that goes wrong for you."

Those words of hers left Seth to be shell shocked, wondering how she managed to read his mind like an open book: "Are you saying...that God wanted me to fall into that hell pit?" He asked cautiously, waiting patiently for her response.

"Definitely not!"

Her expression twisted in shock and disbelief at her son's question: "Your life isn't based on someone else's predetermination or destiny to become certain things; you made your own decisions that ultimately led to what has happened to you." Clarifying his misunderstanding, "Whether it was the right choice or wrong choice, it depends entirely on how you choose to see it and that is what God wants you to do," she finished with a smile on her face.

Seth was silent for a while as he processed her words carefully, trying to understand what she meant before letting out a soft sigh and then nodding gently in understanding, "Okay, okay." Steadily, his mood lightened up, and he found himself relaxing more easily. "But does he exist?" His last sentence was more of a question, one for which he desperately hoped for her answer.

The woman took a few seconds to respond, appearing to be considering her options carefully before finally sighing lightly while smiling gently. "I can't answer that, sweetie. You first need to focus on the world around you to gain the answer before you rush to sudden conclusions," she whispered softly before moving closer towards the boy, who merely blinked twice in utter bewilderment at her suggestion to "take time and enjoy your life to the fullest."

Standing up, she took her son's hand to get him onto his feet as well; both of them are facing one another in comfortable silence, with waves of sea crashing onto rocky shores far below them as they exchanged gazes in silence before she finally broke.

"Would you also want to see the waves up close?"

With the calm breeze of wind blowing past them, he agreed almost immediately, nodding with a smile of excitement on his face as she carefully led him down towards the beach, where water flows in a peaceful rhythmic pattern over smooth stones laid out before them. "How do you feel?" She inquired curiously.

"Peaceful..." The introverted teen answered without hesitation, "Is nature always like this?" He asked his question without looking at Muriel, who was holding his right hand while walking through the shallow stream of cold saltwater under the orange-red sky at dusk.

She then assured with a graceful tone, "Mother Nature can be cruel, disgusting, and even evil sometimes, but..." Smiling warmly as her son lifted his head upwards, gazing at her beautiful features closely, she said, "Beautiful and good as well," finishing her sentence before giving Seth a gentle squeeze of her palm.

Eventually reaching the sandy bank where it ends with a rocky surface, Muriel let go of his hand, allowing him to proceed alone. Standing just beside the edge of the water that reached up to their knees, Seth took a couple of steps forward as he stared down at ripples caused by the gentle tide in their presence.

Watching silently while standing behind him, Muriel then put her arms around the boy's torso, pulling him close enough for them to be held close when she suddenly sprouted out six yellow wings behind her back. "Hold your breath for a moment," she said mysteriously while hugging her son from behind, which caused him to gulp nervously in anticipation as her wings glowed with an ethereal aura until eventually enveloping his whole body completely in blinding light.

Within a split second, Seth found himself floating above a vast expanse of endless blue void with millions of stars surrounding his peripheral vision, while everything around him was pitch black except for light radiating from a glowing body that belonged to a motherly woman.

"Space...?!" He said out loud, scared yet fascinated at the same time by seeing endless emptiness around himself and her, "were in outer space!" Seth exclaimed, unable to contain his fear and astonishment at witnessing such a sudden sight while floating through this endless space.

Having read a book about astrology when he was still with the pastor, he always feared the silence and lack of life. It is as if there is nothing left in the world and only darkness is present; however, this time is different from usual because he isn't alone anymore.

The boy's heart raced fast inside his ribcage, being held by this angel, who was smiling sweetly at his reaction. "Isn't it beautiful?" She asked sweetly, stroking his hair in motherly fashion, which caused him to relax, allowing his body to remain motionless.

"Beautiful? Outer space is terrifying; there is no air or sound, only endless darkness." Pointing out bluntly before continuing, "it is an infinite void filled with stars and planets, all of them far away from each other." His eyes still wide with intrigue, "And yet...I wonder why I found this scenery terrified by the loneliness that surrounds it," Seth expressed in a quiet voice while his mother listened intently to the words being spoken by him.

Her laughter echoed loudly as if thunder struck nearby. "The cosmos isn't always uncaring as you might think," Muriel remarked while gazing upon the distant sun that shines brightly amidst this vast ocean of darkness surrounding them. "There are some worlds that are inhospitable, but it does not make them bad, does it?" She added.

Nodding, he understood what she meant before smiling faintly. "I guess so." Suddenly his attention shifted to their right, where a strange blue planet slowly emerged through the foggy clouds of cosmic dust particles along with countless satellites orbiting around it. "Is that Earth?" He asked curiously, pointing his index finger at it while she nodded.

"It is," she confirmed. "Does it look different to you?" Questioning his thoughts on its appearance as they slowly moved closer towards this celestial body. Upon examining carefully, her son responded back in kind, "It looks bigger than before." He muttered while glancing at how large it was.

"Do you wish to see what lies beyond the surface, where its heart resides?" She inquired out of the blue, which surprised him greatly since this offer wasn't expected from her. "All you have to do is say yes, and I will show you the beauty of it," Muriel said softly, as if she had understood his apprehension.

"Okay..."

Within an instant, his eyes widened, seeing colors moving everywhere in harmony and hearing sounds that carried beautiful meaning behind them. The sounds were melodic, like instruments played simultaneously to create music that soothes his mind. "What is this place?" His words trailed off into oblivion as his heart began racing rapidly inside his chest.

"What are you seeing is the potential goodness within mankind, what makes them who they truly are." Her answer didn't satisfy his curiosity, so she continued further, "the love for each other, family, friends, and home that all humans desire. Most of all, the animals and nature that thrive in our world provide life for everyone to exist and thrive in beauty."

It felt like hours had passed since he began watching the colors shift in an orderly way, making beautiful images that resembled pieces of art before transforming back to chaos itself. The sounds resonated through his ears, along with others being heard around him, along with words that had meaning unlike earlier.

There were notes everywhere, forming a symphony of life. The instruments were hidden between the beats of time; the songs were created by people who shared emotions and passion within them; each note had its own rhythm, its own identity, and its own purpose.

These sounds were unique; there was no song like the others, no melody that was the same as the previous, and each instrument had a different tone, a different pitch, and a different rhythm. The orchestra was varied and colorful, but every note had its own place.

It wasn't static or repetitive; they flowed together seamlessly, creating a symphonic tapestry of sound. Every note was part of a greater whole, and every piece had its own part to play. The symphony was not just one thing; it was many things.

As the music began to slow down, the colors also began to fade back into their normal hues, and the sounds grew softer. The symphony was not endless like the cosmos but instead ended when it was finished, bringing peace and quiet to the boy's mind as he breathed in deep breaths of air.

"What was that?" He whispered while, still mesmerized by what he just saw and heard, "they were beautiful and wondrous, like dream itself," marveling at this strange phenomenon before the cosmos itself began to fill in with sounds.

There were noises, some awful and terrifying, but others were harmonizing to the point where he became content with everything that surrounded him within this massive abyss. If Seth was able to put names on these musical melodies, he would call them magnificent.

"That, Seth, is the beauty of life," Muriel revealed gently with satisfaction shown on her face while staring at this wonderful creation unfold in front of their very eyes. "Just as you experience darkness, you will also see the light that gives it birth and balance to everything within this grand scheme of existence." Her arms tightened around his small frame, embracing him closer as his teary eyes grew heavy with joy and sadness.

Everything was perfect. Everything was—

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