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Chapter 21: Monster

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Morrigan stood in front of the cafe, The street was cold, and the scent of juniper pecked at her nostrils as it glided along the breeze. She could feel the temperature cooling further as she approached the front door, which sat well below zero. She drove her hand in her pocket, fished out the lighter, and sparked a flame.

She pinched the flame with her fingers and took it into her hand. The flame grew, spreading to fill the new space. She reached for the door with her other hand and the moment her hand touched the handle, she recoiled with lightning speed, tearing skin from muscle and sending icy drops of red to the ground. She winced in pain, taking a sharp breath as the wound burned and froze at the same time

She took the fire in her injured hand, thawed the skin and willed it to heal. She felt the windows and the brick of the cafe, walking a lap around the building before returning to the front, growling in frustration as she checked each door. The entire cafe was shrouded in a thick sheet of ice blanketing every inch of the building.

She felt the anger rise. She raised her cane, focused on the rage, and the flame traveled from her hand to the tip of the cane in a rapid flash. She let out a scream, thrusting the tip of her cane towards the cafe. As within, so came without, a pillar of force and flame burst forth. The noise was deafening. The glass shattered, covering the interior with shimmering glitter. Morrigan heard the crunch of glass underfoot as she marched forward.

She stepped through the front door, the metal already collecting frost, and listened carefully for any sign of life. She casually cast her hand about brushing on every surface. The chill of ice lingered. Shards of glass left small cuts on her hand that healed as fast as they could be made.

 She heard a low sigh and focused on the source. Her hand brushed across something strange. Her attention broken. She looked into the booth feeling up and down the strange mass she discovered.

"Hello?” she whispered, reaching out and brushing a finger over the face of a human male. She pulled her hand back, reached across from him, and found a woman. The sound of the kitchen door creaking open forced Morrigan to turn.

It watched her, whatever it was. The sound of glass underfoot and the crack and pop of its frozen body reached her ears. With every step, the blood vessels shattered, the bones broke, and the skin cracked, only to be restored again. It spoke, its voice rasping and wheezing.

"I hoped it would be you.” It said. Morrigan ignored the words, her eyes widened, and she dipped her head forward. It spoke in a lull with no hurry to reach the end of its sentence, “Do you not remember me?” The creature sat in a booth not far from where it emerged. Morrigan walked forward, sat down across from it, an uneasy feeling overcoming her. The voice was feminine, almost familiar.

“Alice,” Morrigan said, and she heard the bones snap and grind as the thing nodded. The tears that welled in Morrigan's eyes grew cold, nearly freezing before they fell. She felt frost on her lips, melting and freezing again with every breath, “What did they do to you?”

“Exiled,” It said. “I supported you.”

“Why are you here?”

“My redemption,” It replied. “I want to feel the flames again.” This was true pain, every breath breaking ice in the lungs only to have them freeze over again.

“So try and kill me. I wish you luck.” Morrigan said with a smile. “What if I kill you and leave here alive with a mind for retaliation?”

“I’m not here to kill you.” It said. "Even if I could do it, That's not my purpose."

“Then why all this?” she gestured to the world of ice and winter around her.

The creature laughed, or emitted a sound that could be the closest thing to laughter it could muster, “A diversion.” Morrigan heard the snap and crack of ice as its muscles tensed up, shattering the frozen blood within.

Morrigan kicked against the floor, pushing the booth back and launching herself out of her seat. The creature flipped the table in her direction, only missing by an inch. Morrigan listened carefully trying to distinguish the sounds of movement through the chaos around her. The ice cracked in all directions, the creature lost in the noise. She pulled out her lighter, creating a small dying flame. She let her hand hover above it.

She heard the frantic movement as it ran toward her. Morrigan snapped a finger, and the flame sparked, growing and engulfing her body. The heat sent Alice back, clutching her body in an attempt to shield herself from the heat.

Morrigan’s thoughts turned to Tyler. She turned and ran, hitting her hip on a table and falling to the floor. Cold hands reached through the flames as the creature dove on top of her. Morrigan fought back, conjuring a bubble of blunt force that sent it spiraling back. Glass shattered, the front counter collapsing under Alice's weight.

It stood, and moved forward, putting itself between her and her exit. Morrigan closed her eyes, focused on the dying flames still burning faithfully throughout the cafe, a composer ready to perform a symphony.

The flames danced, increasing the heat to lethal levels. The creature screamed, stepping forward and resisting the urge to retreat. Morrigan dodged feral swipes as the ice melted. Morrigan brought the flames in her hand up, pushing alice back. The creature collapsed to the ground, shrieking. By now, it’s skin would be charred, flaking off into ash. Morrigan felt her skin blister, condensing the static into a cocoon around herself to slow the process.

“Do you feel the flames yet, sister?” Morrigan called, loud enough to be heard over Alice’s chilling screams. The screams stopped, but the crackling of flames and the violent contortions of Alice’s flailing body remained. It's lungs collapsed. Morrigan waited until the body stopped moving before leaving.

She exited the cafe in haste, urging the flames to burn and consume all there was. She traced the air with the tip of her cane, painting an oval with the static. A portal emerged, and she stepped through. She reached out, felt the railing leading up to her apartment, and stormed up the steps.

“Tyler.” she screamed, reaching for the door knob and finding the door wide open. She screamed his name again, rushing into the apartment and navigating the rooms. She tripped over something in the back bedroom. She reached out, felt Tyler's leg, and froze in place. She should check to be sure. Maybe he was just unconcious. She hesitated. If she checked, then the outcome was true. To check his pulse would only make her fears a reality, and she sought to cling to hope a moment longer. She held her breath, as if doing so could stop time from passing.

She felt the sting in her sinuses, her body preparing for inevitable sorrow. She readjusted herself, sitting on her knees next to the body. The tears flowed as she checked for a pulse. His body was cold and he wasnt breathing. He was dead.

She failed him and fell for an obvious trap. Her chest heaved as the sobs broke through. They should have left sooner. Why did she seek to cling to a normal life for just a while longer?

Her mind assailed her, words floating up from dark depth with the intent to inflict the worst kind of damage. Some were realizations, words like selfish and arrogant. Some were accusations, with Tyler's body as the smoking gun. She heard words like murderer and the one that hurt most: Monster.

 

 

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Nov 4, 2020 00:27 by Jacob Billings

"The flame grew, spreading to fill the empty space" is a bit of a weird sentence. I can't quite pinpoint why it stood out as being odd, but it's tense and structure is fairly disruptive. I'd probably suggest combining it with your previous sentence to make that a singular action.   Just after that, there's a random paragraph that has a rather noticeable increase in font size, for some reason?   "I hoped it would be you." It said. That's completely wrong. I think you may have done this before, too. However, it's important to know that, even if it's not a pronoun or proper noun, you structure it as: "I hoped it would be you," it said.   Your final sentence is so close to perfect. However, the "words like" part followed by one word messes that up. You need to extend it out to be a grander sentence: "But worst of all were the blaming words, words like murderer, devil, and witch. But worst of all: Monster." That's a little bit weird too, but it focuses more on the "monster" part since that's the main aspect of the chapter. It leaves the reader anxious for more, especially when they can't get more.   Speaking of which, you've picked up the pacing within the story, effectively hooking in every reader to pretty much make this a page-turner novel. Great work, plus the reminder that there are still a surprising number of small typos to be smoothed out.

Nov 4, 2020 00:46 by R. Dylon Elder

In going to reply to all previous comments here, just for ease and lack of spamming XD The typos may be older. Idk when you pulled them up, but I had to do a major pass recently to fix them you may have read an older version, regardless there are typos there. Since we're at the point where there are so many little things going on, I'm going to do some extra editing passes.   You bring up a lot of good points. I'll address them all.   So far, I havnt really focused on the horror side of it. I'm really hoping the next chapter or two will really drive home where the horror really is. So far it's been about connecting to the characters and establishing the magic system.   I love how you ask the right questions, especially on the candlelight. The candlelight isn't really a spell, it's more of a universal law. Thanks so much man. I think it's telling when you said you'd be falling behind and yet I get these pretty quick. That's a huge compliment, especially with the typos to consider. Thanks so much, as always.